---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mirabelle Summers <news@meetyoursweet.com>
Date: Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 7:04 AM
Subject: How To Literally Have It ALL
Dating is not simple.
This is the BALD TRUTH.
In fact, it's actually an extremely complex
situation, with many shifting variables - and that
is why 'system-based' dating techniques, and
trying to follow set rules, NEVER works in the
long run.
The simple truth is that the world - and that
includes your love life! - is just too complex to
be contained within a system, or a set of rules.
It's more important, and much more REWARDING,
for you to learn how to appropriately handle each
situation TO YOUR ADVANTAGE as and when it arises.
Imagine having the ability and the confidence
to walk blindly into new social situations, handle
yourself with charisma and panache, and come away
with new friends - and new dates - EVERY time.
It's entirely possible. In fact, it's not even
particularly DIFFICULT.
After spending a LOT of time figuring this
stuff out, I've come to the conclusion that there
are two things that this kind of easy, consistent
success hinges upon:
- 1. Self-confidence
- 2. The ability to communicate congruently (which
basically means that you know how to set others at
ease around you, and make them like you.)
And - surprise, surprise - these 2 things are
ALSO just about the most CHALLENGING aspects of
self-development, and of developing a stable,
rewarding, loving relationship.
That's exactly why Slade and I have put
together 2 comprehensive books: the first, on
self-confidence, and the second, on fun, witty,
easy communication that WORKS.
Look: I KNOW, from personal experience, just
how difficult it can be to overcome problems in
these areas without outside help ...
...and I ALSO know, also from personal
experience, just how FUN and EASY dating (not to
mention life in general!) is when you've got these
2 things under control.
Don't restrict your horizons. Don't limit your
potential. Reach out and make the decision to
IMPROVE YOURSELF - and take a huge step forward
towards reaching your ultimate goals.
If you want to know more, you can find Slade's
book on self-confidence here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/selfconfidence/women/index.php
... and you can find MY book, on easy,
attraction-building conversation right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry/women/
Now then ...
It is not uncommon for women, when they find
themselves a great new relationship, to roll over
and 'play dead'.
This is a particularly apt phrase, which
basically means 'they inconvenience themselves on
a regular basis for the sake of spending time with
their new man.'
This inconveniencing generally comes in the
form of CANCELING PLANS and giving up stuff that
you like to do - often, stuff that formed the
backbone of the pleasure in your life.
I'm not talking about quitting college or
giving up your career or anything like that
(although, and it pains me to say this, some women
are, unfortunately, shortsighted enough to give up
their livelihoods when they 'find somebody'.)
I'm primarily talking about giving up the
so-called 'little things' that, prior to meeting
the new man, made up a large part of your personal
routine.
For example: spending time with your pets.
Seeing your friends regularly. Going out for
morning coffee with your mom on Saturdays. Girls'
nights out. Your weekly Pilates class. That novel
you've been enjoying. Etc.
For other women, it's not quite so obvious.
They may not cancel any plans, but they may RUIN
those plans by checking their voicemail every 20 minutes
in case HE'S left a message. Or they may spend the
whole time obsessing about HIM.
Or they may even be managing to stick to their
hectic schedule ... by sacrificing basic personal
essentials, like sleep and rest.
Besides the obvious drawbacks of quitting this
stuff/sacrificing your lifestyle - namely, that
you give up doing stuff that you like! - it also
says a LOT about your self-confidence when you
start giving up what you enjoy, and canceling your
plans, for the sake of spending time with a man.
I'd like to take this opportunity here to point
out that I'm not encouraging you to be one of
those rigid women who is so set in her routine and
so utterly inflexible that she can't even
comprehend of making a change when she meets
someone new.
OBVIOUSLY when you introduce a fascinating new
person into your life, things are going to change.
Instead, I'm trying to highlight the importance
of KEEPING YOUR INDEPENDENCE, and the satisfaction
that you feel with your life.
You do not need to give up your life. You do
not need to start rushing through the day,
wondering how you can pare down the activities
you've scheduled for yourself, just so you can
'fit everything in'. You don't need to STRESS
about it.
Dating somebody that you like is meant to
IMPROVE your life, not detract from its quality.
If you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed,
or depleted, you've gotta take a step back and
start investigating WHY THAT IS.
Are you asking too much from yourself? Are you
taking on the responsibility for the wellbeing of
the relationship without even realizing it?
This is a very real possibility. Not to
generalize, but the truth is that, as women, we
really are conditioned - WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT -
to play the role of the 'nurturer'. Heck, we're
not even necessarily CONDITIONED to it! To a very
large extent, it's simply WHO WE ARE.
One result of this is often that we will put
pressure on ourselves, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, to make
sure that everybody is getting what they need ...
for example, that our friends are seeing us
enough, that our pets are happy and well cared
for, and that our boyfriend is spending enough
time with us to be happy.
These are all important things, make no
mistake.
But YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST.
What this means is that you should not be
giving stuff up to 'make room' for your new
relationship, unless it's RECIPROCAL.
Don't take all the weight onto yourself. Not
only is this not good for you, but it's also VERY
unhealthy for his regard for you.
That's right ... being the Relationship Martyr
will actually turn him OFF.
Men NOTICE when you cancel other plans just to
be with them.
First of all, from his perspective, it's not
good to be with a woman who doesn't stay true to
her word: even though he's technically benefiting
from you canceling or postponing other plans, he
will not be proud of you when he sees that you're
OK with dishonoring promises (whether that's
promises to yourself, or to others.)
Secondly, when he sees that you're canceling
other plans in order to be with him, he will
actually lose respect for you, because he'll see
that you're starting to lose your independence ...
and that you're beginning to center your life
around HIM.
Contrary to what the media would have us
believe, this is NOT what men want.
They may SAY they do.
They may even pout and complain if they feel
like you've got other priorities over and above
them.
But nothing can alter the value of the RESPECT
that he will have for you, when your actions prove
- over and over - that not only are you an
independent woman with her own life ...
...but that you honor your promises (both to
yourself, and to others) ...
... and that you are ALSO content with your life,
JUST THE WAY YOU'VE MADE IT.
It is very reassuring to a man to know that he
is not the center of your universe. As women, we
often make the mistake of acting as though HE
THINKS THE SAME WAY WE DO.
As a result of this, our words and actions can
convey to him the idea that he is the
all-important and vital centerpiece to our lives ...
... when in fact, not only are WE happier when we
have our own life, and we FOCUS on that life, but
HE is happier too.
He doesn't want to feel like you're a
codependent and whiny woman who needs his
attention and affection just to get by.
He wants to feel like you're one of the 'cool
girls' - a woman who's got a full, happy life, who
loves to spend time with him, but doesn't feel the
need to compromise the OTHER enjoyable aspects of
her life to focus solely on him.
One last word on this subject: as I've
mentioned, occasionally you may come across a man
who will complain or pout when your actions prove
that you have priorities - and that some of them
come before him.
He may sulk if you don't come straight over to
his house after work (neglecting the gym, dinner,
and dog.)
He may get upset if you want to have a girls'
night out on the weekend.
He might complain if your nail appointment
clashes with the movie he wanted to take you to
see.
Here's my take on it: firstly, DON'T GIVE IN. A
woman with self-respect and self-value does not
treat her plans and schedules like small,
disposable things. They are important to her,
because they are HER plans and schedules. And she
expects her partner to respect that too.
Secondly, you've got to ask yourself, do you
really want to be spending time with a man who
clearly does not prioritize your happiness?
Look: let's be realistic here. If he is getting
upset because you're spending EVERY WEEKEND doing
other things without him, well, he may have a
point.
But if your guy is sulking because you happen
to have a life that happens to include priorities
OTHER THAN him ... you have to think to yourself
whether you are really willing to participate
fully in a relationship with someone who is not
overly concerned with what matters to you.
He might have been 'spoiled' by other women
he's dated, women who eagerly cancelled any plans
they might have had simply to hang out with him.
He might have had his expectations ruined
(temporarily, that is - after all, he's seeing YOU
now) by women who didn't understand that being
'too available' is the death knell to a good
relationship.
I'm not telling you to be obnoxious or arrogant
about your preferences. I'm telling you that if
you want to enjoy your life, for your relationship
to ALWAYS retain that 'spark', and for him to
respect you, you've got to prioritize the things
that matter to you.
Remember this: if he pouts, and you give in,
you've set a precedent for the future: and he gets
the upper hand over you.
Whereas, if you're NICE, but FIRM, and you hold
your ground - which is what he secretly wants you
to do anyway - things will remain sassy,
sexy, and EQUAL.
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
MeetYourSweet.com
P.S. Have you taken a moment yet and had a look
at our product catalog?
I wouldn't be recommending these books and
courses if they didn't WORK ...
... and I know that if your priority really is to
find the relationship and life of your dreams, and
to live the happiest, healthiest life that you're
capable of, that you'll be wanting all the help
you can get.
Have a browse and see which programs will help
YOU.
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
**************************************************
About the authors:
Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the
inimitable duo of dating and relationship experts
at MeetYourSweet.com. Their fresh and engaging
approach to women's relationship advice,
particularly in empowering women to achieve
spiritual and physical transformations in their
personal lives, social lives, and all interactions
with men, has inspired and strengthened their
followers the world over.
MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to
giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
success you crave with men AND with life. No
matter who you are, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the
opposite sex. MeetYourSweet has thousands of
satisfied customers who have used their life tools
to help them kickstart their personal and social
transformation.
Your new life starts today at:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com
****************************************************
MeetYourSweet.com
Unit 6a, 3 Settlers Crescent
Ferrymead, Christchurch 8023
NEW ZEALAND
To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:
http://www.aweber.com/z/r/?rAzMrExMtKxMHJxMrMyctGa0jBwsTEwM7A==
From: Mirabelle Summers <news@meetyoursweet.com>
Date: Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 7:04 AM
Subject: How To Literally Have It ALL
Dating is not simple.
This is the BALD TRUTH.
In fact, it's actually an extremely complex
situation, with many shifting variables - and that
is why 'system-based' dating techniques, and
trying to follow set rules, NEVER works in the
long run.
The simple truth is that the world - and that
includes your love life! - is just too complex to
be contained within a system, or a set of rules.
It's more important, and much more REWARDING,
for you to learn how to appropriately handle each
situation TO YOUR ADVANTAGE as and when it arises.
Imagine having the ability and the confidence
to walk blindly into new social situations, handle
yourself with charisma and panache, and come away
with new friends - and new dates - EVERY time.
It's entirely possible. In fact, it's not even
particularly DIFFICULT.
After spending a LOT of time figuring this
stuff out, I've come to the conclusion that there
are two things that this kind of easy, consistent
success hinges upon:
- 1. Self-confidence
- 2. The ability to communicate congruently (which
basically means that you know how to set others at
ease around you, and make them like you.)
And - surprise, surprise - these 2 things are
ALSO just about the most CHALLENGING aspects of
self-development, and of developing a stable,
rewarding, loving relationship.
That's exactly why Slade and I have put
together 2 comprehensive books: the first, on
self-confidence, and the second, on fun, witty,
easy communication that WORKS.
Look: I KNOW, from personal experience, just
how difficult it can be to overcome problems in
these areas without outside help ...
...and I ALSO know, also from personal
experience, just how FUN and EASY dating (not to
mention life in general!) is when you've got these
2 things under control.
Don't restrict your horizons. Don't limit your
potential. Reach out and make the decision to
IMPROVE YOURSELF - and take a huge step forward
towards reaching your ultimate goals.
If you want to know more, you can find Slade's
book on self-confidence here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/selfconfidence/women/index.php
... and you can find MY book, on easy,
attraction-building conversation right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/conversationchemistry/women/
Now then ...
It is not uncommon for women, when they find
themselves a great new relationship, to roll over
and 'play dead'.
This is a particularly apt phrase, which
basically means 'they inconvenience themselves on
a regular basis for the sake of spending time with
their new man.'
This inconveniencing generally comes in the
form of CANCELING PLANS and giving up stuff that
you like to do - often, stuff that formed the
backbone of the pleasure in your life.
I'm not talking about quitting college or
giving up your career or anything like that
(although, and it pains me to say this, some women
are, unfortunately, shortsighted enough to give up
their livelihoods when they 'find somebody'.)
I'm primarily talking about giving up the
so-called 'little things' that, prior to meeting
the new man, made up a large part of your personal
routine.
For example: spending time with your pets.
Seeing your friends regularly. Going out for
morning coffee with your mom on Saturdays. Girls'
nights out. Your weekly Pilates class. That novel
you've been enjoying. Etc.
For other women, it's not quite so obvious.
They may not cancel any plans, but they may RUIN
those plans by checking their voicemail every 20 minutes
in case HE'S left a message. Or they may spend the
whole time obsessing about HIM.
Or they may even be managing to stick to their
hectic schedule ... by sacrificing basic personal
essentials, like sleep and rest.
Besides the obvious drawbacks of quitting this
stuff/sacrificing your lifestyle - namely, that
you give up doing stuff that you like! - it also
says a LOT about your self-confidence when you
start giving up what you enjoy, and canceling your
plans, for the sake of spending time with a man.
I'd like to take this opportunity here to point
out that I'm not encouraging you to be one of
those rigid women who is so set in her routine and
so utterly inflexible that she can't even
comprehend of making a change when she meets
someone new.
OBVIOUSLY when you introduce a fascinating new
person into your life, things are going to change.
Instead, I'm trying to highlight the importance
of KEEPING YOUR INDEPENDENCE, and the satisfaction
that you feel with your life.
You do not need to give up your life. You do
not need to start rushing through the day,
wondering how you can pare down the activities
you've scheduled for yourself, just so you can
'fit everything in'. You don't need to STRESS
about it.
Dating somebody that you like is meant to
IMPROVE your life, not detract from its quality.
If you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed,
or depleted, you've gotta take a step back and
start investigating WHY THAT IS.
Are you asking too much from yourself? Are you
taking on the responsibility for the wellbeing of
the relationship without even realizing it?
This is a very real possibility. Not to
generalize, but the truth is that, as women, we
really are conditioned - WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT -
to play the role of the 'nurturer'. Heck, we're
not even necessarily CONDITIONED to it! To a very
large extent, it's simply WHO WE ARE.
One result of this is often that we will put
pressure on ourselves, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, to make
sure that everybody is getting what they need ...
for example, that our friends are seeing us
enough, that our pets are happy and well cared
for, and that our boyfriend is spending enough
time with us to be happy.
These are all important things, make no
mistake.
But YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST.
What this means is that you should not be
giving stuff up to 'make room' for your new
relationship, unless it's RECIPROCAL.
Don't take all the weight onto yourself. Not
only is this not good for you, but it's also VERY
unhealthy for his regard for you.
That's right ... being the Relationship Martyr
will actually turn him OFF.
Men NOTICE when you cancel other plans just to
be with them.
First of all, from his perspective, it's not
good to be with a woman who doesn't stay true to
her word: even though he's technically benefiting
from you canceling or postponing other plans, he
will not be proud of you when he sees that you're
OK with dishonoring promises (whether that's
promises to yourself, or to others.)
Secondly, when he sees that you're canceling
other plans in order to be with him, he will
actually lose respect for you, because he'll see
that you're starting to lose your independence ...
and that you're beginning to center your life
around HIM.
Contrary to what the media would have us
believe, this is NOT what men want.
They may SAY they do.
They may even pout and complain if they feel
like you've got other priorities over and above
them.
But nothing can alter the value of the RESPECT
that he will have for you, when your actions prove
- over and over - that not only are you an
independent woman with her own life ...
...but that you honor your promises (both to
yourself, and to others) ...
... and that you are ALSO content with your life,
JUST THE WAY YOU'VE MADE IT.
It is very reassuring to a man to know that he
is not the center of your universe. As women, we
often make the mistake of acting as though HE
THINKS THE SAME WAY WE DO.
As a result of this, our words and actions can
convey to him the idea that he is the
all-important and vital centerpiece to our lives ...
... when in fact, not only are WE happier when we
have our own life, and we FOCUS on that life, but
HE is happier too.
He doesn't want to feel like you're a
codependent and whiny woman who needs his
attention and affection just to get by.
He wants to feel like you're one of the 'cool
girls' - a woman who's got a full, happy life, who
loves to spend time with him, but doesn't feel the
need to compromise the OTHER enjoyable aspects of
her life to focus solely on him.
One last word on this subject: as I've
mentioned, occasionally you may come across a man
who will complain or pout when your actions prove
that you have priorities - and that some of them
come before him.
He may sulk if you don't come straight over to
his house after work (neglecting the gym, dinner,
and dog.)
He may get upset if you want to have a girls'
night out on the weekend.
He might complain if your nail appointment
clashes with the movie he wanted to take you to
see.
Here's my take on it: firstly, DON'T GIVE IN. A
woman with self-respect and self-value does not
treat her plans and schedules like small,
disposable things. They are important to her,
because they are HER plans and schedules. And she
expects her partner to respect that too.
Secondly, you've got to ask yourself, do you
really want to be spending time with a man who
clearly does not prioritize your happiness?
Look: let's be realistic here. If he is getting
upset because you're spending EVERY WEEKEND doing
other things without him, well, he may have a
point.
But if your guy is sulking because you happen
to have a life that happens to include priorities
OTHER THAN him ... you have to think to yourself
whether you are really willing to participate
fully in a relationship with someone who is not
overly concerned with what matters to you.
He might have been 'spoiled' by other women
he's dated, women who eagerly cancelled any plans
they might have had simply to hang out with him.
He might have had his expectations ruined
(temporarily, that is - after all, he's seeing YOU
now) by women who didn't understand that being
'too available' is the death knell to a good
relationship.
I'm not telling you to be obnoxious or arrogant
about your preferences. I'm telling you that if
you want to enjoy your life, for your relationship
to ALWAYS retain that 'spark', and for him to
respect you, you've got to prioritize the things
that matter to you.
Remember this: if he pouts, and you give in,
you've set a precedent for the future: and he gets
the upper hand over you.
Whereas, if you're NICE, but FIRM, and you hold
your ground - which is what he secretly wants you
to do anyway - things will remain sassy,
sexy, and EQUAL.
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
MeetYourSweet.com
P.S. Have you taken a moment yet and had a look
at our product catalog?
I wouldn't be recommending these books and
courses if they didn't WORK ...
... and I know that if your priority really is to
find the relationship and life of your dreams, and
to live the happiest, healthiest life that you're
capable of, that you'll be wanting all the help
you can get.
Have a browse and see which programs will help
YOU.
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
**************************************************
About the authors:
Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the
inimitable duo of dating and relationship experts
at MeetYourSweet.com. Their fresh and engaging
approach to women's relationship advice,
particularly in empowering women to achieve
spiritual and physical transformations in their
personal lives, social lives, and all interactions
with men, has inspired and strengthened their
followers the world over.
MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to
giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
success you crave with men AND with life. No
matter who you are, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the
opposite sex. MeetYourSweet has thousands of
satisfied customers who have used their life tools
to help them kickstart their personal and social
transformation.
Your new life starts today at:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com
****************************************************
MeetYourSweet.com
Unit 6a, 3 Settlers Crescent
Ferrymead, Christchurch 8023
NEW ZEALAND
To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:
http://www.aweber.com/z/r/?rAzMrExMtKxMHJxMrMyctGa0jBwsTEwM7A==
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