---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mirabelle Summers <news@meetyoursweet.com>
Date: Sun, Dec 16, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Subject: What Does It REALLY Mean To Be Attractive?
NOTE: Do you want to know how to attract the
man of your dreams?
Well, first of all, you're going to have learn
how men think - and the things that make
attraction 'click' for them.
The reality is that success with men comes down
to your grasp of male psychology, how the 'dating
dance' works, and your understanding of all the
specific, EXACT tips and techniques you need to
employ to bring your relationship goals to
fruition.
And if you're interested in getting what you
want, and living the LIFE that you want, SOONER
rather than LATER, then you'd probably be
interested in learning about a place where you can
learn ALL of these things at once, right?
Well, I know of JUST such a place.
That place is our catalog site. In it, you can
choose from all the products, courses, and
programs we've designed to teach you EVERYTHING -
from the rudiments right through to super-advanced
dating techniques - about meeting, attracting,
dating, and loving men.
From first date right through to life-long
commitment, it's all waiting for you.
You can check it out right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
>Now then, Jorge,
Let me ask you a question:
What does it mean to be attractive?
Really, truly ATTRACTIVE?
As in, not just getting wolf-whistles from
construction workers, or turning heads when you
wear a short skirt, but actually attracting
genuine people, who are interested in getting to
know you better, into your life?
Hmm.
There's a lot of confusion over this one, and
it's important that we get it sorted out NOW.
(I don't want any more women writing in and asking me
whether they'd be more attractive if they got a
tummy tuck or a boob job! ...
... and by the way, the answer to this question is:
"Maybe ... but not necessarily in the way that you think!"
More on this later on.)
Here's the deal: attractive doesn't mean HOT.
It doesn't equate to PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
Physically attractive females will attract
ATTENTION from men, but not necessarily the men
themselves ... not unless they have an attractive
personality and an outlook on life to go with
their pretty faces.
Are you with me on this one?
Most people think of 'being attractive' as
being a kind of tangible, measurable state that we
work towards.
When you're in this mindset, being attractive
becomes a GOAL: it's something that you make the
decision to BE, like deciding to be a
schoolteacher when you grow up, or deciding to go
blonde.
And more often than not, this mindset actually
trains us to focus on attractiveness as an
EXTERNAL thing.
This is actually an untrue, and deeply
unhelpful, take on what it means to be ACTUALLY
ATTRACTIVE.
Funnily enough, the people who are genuinely
attractive - meaning that they don't just turn
heads when they walk into a room, but people
consistently just WANT TO BE NEAR THEM AND GET TO
KNOW THEM - are actually attractive as a BYPRODUCT
of their lifestyle and attitude.
They're not TRYING to be attractive. They just
ARE. And it's all because of how they live their
lives, and the attention they pay to who they
really are as people.
Sound a little too spiritual and New Agey? Well
I promise, IT'S NOT. This stuff is for real, and
it has very real consequences in your life. It's
no good being the hottest woman in town if you
haven't got the kind of attractiveness that will
enable you to form lasting and loving
relationships with people.
See where I'm coming from? Yes, the 'outside'
is important to GET YOU AN 'AUDITION' with others
... but to actually BE the part, not just LOOK the
part, you've gotta have a bit more substance to
you than looks alone.
Let's delve deeper ...
Genuinely attractive people do not set out to
'be attractive'. They are just living their lives
in a certain way, because that's the way that
gives them the most fulfillment and pleasure.
Typically, they're totally engaged with their
lives, they're enthusiastic and passionate ... and,
as a result of that, other people just want to be
around them.
The pure and honest truth is that 'attractive'
is not really something you can make up your mind
to BE. You can't set out to 'be attractive' one
day, any more than you can set out to 'be young'.
It's much more important that we start to do
things AUTHENTICALLY, and as an expression of who
we really are, than base our behaviors in a desire
to manipulate the situation, other people's
feelings, or to 'get' something out of someone.
Here are a few examples of manipulative
behaviors:
- Acting caring and nice towards a man because
you want him to like you, not because you really
CARE about him or enjoy making him feel good.
- Having sex with someone because you want to
deepen your bond or get him to commit to you, not
because you genuinely want to express yourself
sexually.
- Dressing up in heels and a short skirt
because you crave validation from men, not because
that's just your own personal style.
When you're operating out of a frame of
results-based manipulation - i.e. you set out to
'be attractive' ...
... rather than thinking about how you can live
your life in a way that SUPPORTS your
attractiveness, not CAUSES it ...
... it becomes very difficult to ever become
truly happy, content, or fulfilled.
(Hot tip: you ALSO come across as very shallow
and validation-seeking! For most people, this is a
BIG turn-off.)
The reason for this is because your focus is
always drawn INWARD, in a very unhealthy way.
Instead of directing your energy and your focus
and your attention to the outside world and the
people you're interacting with, you're constantly
being drawn INWARD, into yourself, and how you
think other people are perceiving YOU.
It's like a vortex of self-obsession. And
frankly, people who think about themselves all the
time are just BORING to be around. They sap your
energy, not enhance it.
Can you say ... UNATTRACTIVE?
Focusing too much on yourself - and how others
perceive you - is going to mean that, instead of
relaxing and fully engaging in the moment, you
will always be trapped in a horrifying and
draining internal monologue, which sounds a little
something like THIS:
"Am I doing it right? How do I look now? Does
this make me attractive? Does THIS make me
attractive?" ...
... and so on.
Not only is that an incredibly tiring,
unproductive, and generally unrewarding way to go
through life, but that kind of self-consciousness
is DEEPLY boring to others ...
... and it also REEKS of neediness and
insecurity.
How attractive do you think those qualities
are?
Hmm, let's think about this for a moment ...
should you be relaxed, fulfilled, and focused on
living a life that empowers you as a woman ... and
actually enjoy the JOURNEY, not just the
DESTINATION ...
... and become naturally attractive and full of
powerful charismatic energy as a BONUS RESULT of
all that?
... or should you be uptight, inwardly-focused,
obsessed with what other people think, never quite
satisfied, lose the joy of the journey through
focusing on the DESTINATION, and as a result,
drive people away?
I'm not even going to BOTHER answering that one
for you.
By the way, you might find that some of this
stuff is a little confusing, and outside the
normal boundaries of what you would consider to be
applicable to meeting and dating men.
If that's the case, GOOD. You NEED to have
your beliefs and behaviors shaken up a little bit.
It's time to introduce some new perspectives to
the way you're operating.
Something that I highly recommend to you, that
is GUARANTEED to introduce some mind-blowing new
theories and spot-on practical tips into your
life, is this course right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/recommends/wantmore/index.php
A few examples of what it means to NOT be
authentic:
- The new mom who goes back to work before
she's really ready to, because she feels that her
husband is putting pressure on her. MOTIVATION:
pressure and fear (as opposed to a genuine desire
for independence and freedom.)
- The woman who starts a diet because her
boyfriend asked her 'when's the baby due?'.
MOTIVATION? Insecurity (as opposed to a
spontaneous personal decision and a desire to be
fitter and happier.)
- The woman who grows out her short funky
hairstyle because she thinks that MEN prefer women
with long hair. MOTIVATION: Insecurity and
neediness (as opposed to personal style.)
Do you see what I'm getting at here?
When your motivations to live your life are
based in neediness, pressure from others, or a
mistaken belief that 'people will like you better
that way' ...
... as opposed to a strong and empowered belief
that YOU will like yourself better that way ...
... then the end result is never going to be
happiness or confidence.
Instead, you're actually eating away at your
own confidence ... and, naturally, your
irresistibility to others ... because you're
choosing to believe THEIR reasons over YOUR OWN.
And there is nothing attractive about a needy,
insecure woman!
When you're doing something simply because it
feels right for YOU, and because it's an honest
reflection of who you genuinely are in that given
moment, something very interesting will happen.
You'll discover that, when you not act upon
your personal truth, and make an effort to be true
to YOURSELF, and craft your life and your self
into the shape that YOU genuinely want them to
take ...
... not only do you enjoy your life a heck of a
lot more ...
... but you ALSO become NATURALLY and
IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's an interesting paradox, because true
attractiveness isn't something you can consciously
attain.
It's something that you JUST ARE, and it
happens as a result of how honestly and
authentically you're living your life and how
engaged and passionate you are about the choices
you're making.
People who are engaged and interested and
willing to participate and BE THEMSELVES, in a way
that makes them feel happy with who they are and
really comfortable in their own skin, are
naturally charismatic.
They're of interest to others, and they're
attractive in the TRUE sense of the word ... meaning
that other people are just drawn to them, and find
their company energizing and uplifting.
As you can imagine, this kind of
attractiveness, and the lifestyle that leads to
it, is not only of IMMENSE benefit to you as a
lifestyle, but will also have positive
repercussions in many other aspects of your life:
friendships, business relationships, family
relationships, romantic relationships ...
When you're comfortable with yourself and where
you're going, people are drawn to you. Simple as
that. And THAT is what being truly attractive is
all about.
In a nutshell, the definition of someone who is
genuinely attractive is somebody who is NOT TRYING
TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
It's somebody who is living their life a
certain way because that's what gives them the
most fulfillment and pleasure, not because other
people might find them more appealing that way.
The reason that it's so important to clarify
this is because a lot of women get really bogged
down in unhelpful conceptions of what constitutes
'attractive'.
Our society really conditions us to focus on
people's OUTSIDES, and so as a result, many of us
obsess about our appearances, and our figures, and
whether we have wrinkles or not ... etc.
This is when women start to worry about things
like ... their husband being more attracted to the
svelte 24 year old who served him in the coffee
shop this morning.
Or they worry about the size of their nose.
Or the fact that their body doesn't fit the
conventional standard of commercial beauty.
What I really want to make clear is that it's
how YOU feel about YOURSELF that has the biggest
impact on how attractive to others you are. And
it's really all about WHY you're doing things.
For example, if you're trying to look good
because you think you will be more appealing to
others that way, you'll find that you're always
feeling unsatisfied and worried about whether
you're having the right 'effect' on people.
But if you want to look good because YOU FEEL
GREAT WHEN YOU FEEL ATTRACTIVE, then THAT is the
kind of attitude that does nothing but GOOD for
the actions it generates.
(And of course, that's not to say that your
partner - or whoever you happen to be seeing at
the time - won't appreciate your efforts too ... and
more importantly, they will also appreciate the
positive change in your attitude and outlook!)
I once had a woman write in to me and say that
her boyfriend preferred women with large, firm
breasts, and (being that hers were an A-cup),
'should she go ahead and get a boob job?'
She phrased it as 'an investment in her
relationship', and that she was perfectly prepared
to make sacrifices for her boyfriend's happiness,
because when HE was happy, SHE was happy.
It's disturbing how easily the truth can be
twisted, isn't it?
Just in case you can't imagine my reply, I told
her that if she wanted to go and get a boob job,
she definitely should ... but she should be doing it
because SHE would like the way her breasts looked
like that. Definitely not not NOT because anyone
else in her life would prefer her that way!
Here's another, more personal example for you.
I used to have blonde hair, and I knew that my
partner at the time really loved it that way. He
would never say, "Gee honey, I sure hope you never
go brunette," or anything like that, but I knew
that secretly he 'preferred blondes' and was glad
that I was one.
Well, I'd always had a hankering to go
brunette. But I always felt held back from it,
because I was afraid of the impact this would have
on his attraction to me ... and also, that as a
result of living with somebody who wasn't THAT
attracted to me any more, that I myself would
start to FEEL less attractive.
(And of course there was the not-so-slight
consideration of whether I would even turn out to
look good with dark hair anyway!)
So. This was a fair amount of time ago, and I
still had many of the life lessons to learn that
would bring me to my current position of
self-contentment and empowerment.
In short, I was a lot less strong back then,
and less sure of myself as a woman.
Can you guess what I did?
I CAVED.
I stayed blonde, because I'd given in to my
fears - fears that he wouldn't be as attracted to
me, fears that I would feel less attractive, and
fears that I would compromise my standing in the
relationship.
Now, it might not sound like a big deal at
first: so I stayed blonde, when I would have
preferred to be brunette. Big deal.
But actually, this says a LOT about my
confidence at the time.
If a woman is not confident enough in herself
to even shape her APPEARANCE the way she likes it
... if she'll take somebody else's opinion over her
own on something as inconsequential as HAIR COLOR
... then that woman has some SERIOUS self-esteem
issues.
And as it turned out, one day that relationship
finally ran aground (not surprisingly, given the
fact that I'd handed over all the power to him and
kept none to myself.)
... and the VERY NEXT DAY, I dyed my hair that
dark shade of chestnut that I'd always longed for.
(Truth be told, it was as much a symbol of my new
independence as it was a fashion statement!)
I can see now, in hindsight, that I should have
just gone ahead and done it anyway. Because being
attractive isn't just about the way you LOOK. It's
also about the way you act - and whether those
actions are true to yourself.
Although I didn't know this at the time, I sure
know it now ... and I vowed that from that day, my
decisions would always be coming from a place of
AUTHENTICITY, and NEVER from fear or insecurity.
And that's what this newsletter is all about.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
P.S. By the way ... I look better with brown hair
than I EVER did as a blonde.
P.P.S. If you REALLY want to get good at
meeting and attracting men, then you should think
about investing a few minutes and scoping out what
your options are in terms of improving your game
and your attractiveness.
You should check out some of the programs and
courses we've created to help you do JUST THAT.
You'll find them all here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
**************************************************
About the authors:
Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the
inimitable duo of dating and relationship experts
at MeetYourSweet.com. Their fresh and engaging
approach to women's relationship advice,
particularly in empowering women to achieve
spiritual and physical transformations in their
personal lives, social lives, and all interactions
with men, has inspired and strengthened their
followers the world over.
MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to
giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
success you crave with men AND with life. No
matter who you are, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the
opposite sex. MeetYourSweet has thousands of
satisfied customers who have used their life tools
to help them kickstart their personal and social
transformation.
Your new life starts today at:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com
****************************************************
MeetYourSweet.com
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NEW ZEALAND
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From: Mirabelle Summers <news@meetyoursweet.com>
Date: Sun, Dec 16, 2012 at 7:30 AM
Subject: What Does It REALLY Mean To Be Attractive?
NOTE: Do you want to know how to attract the
man of your dreams?
Well, first of all, you're going to have learn
how men think - and the things that make
attraction 'click' for them.
The reality is that success with men comes down
to your grasp of male psychology, how the 'dating
dance' works, and your understanding of all the
specific, EXACT tips and techniques you need to
employ to bring your relationship goals to
fruition.
And if you're interested in getting what you
want, and living the LIFE that you want, SOONER
rather than LATER, then you'd probably be
interested in learning about a place where you can
learn ALL of these things at once, right?
Well, I know of JUST such a place.
That place is our catalog site. In it, you can
choose from all the products, courses, and
programs we've designed to teach you EVERYTHING -
from the rudiments right through to super-advanced
dating techniques - about meeting, attracting,
dating, and loving men.
From first date right through to life-long
commitment, it's all waiting for you.
You can check it out right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
>Now then, Jorge,
Let me ask you a question:
What does it mean to be attractive?
Really, truly ATTRACTIVE?
As in, not just getting wolf-whistles from
construction workers, or turning heads when you
wear a short skirt, but actually attracting
genuine people, who are interested in getting to
know you better, into your life?
Hmm.
There's a lot of confusion over this one, and
it's important that we get it sorted out NOW.
(I don't want any more women writing in and asking me
whether they'd be more attractive if they got a
tummy tuck or a boob job! ...
... and by the way, the answer to this question is:
"Maybe ... but not necessarily in the way that you think!"
More on this later on.)
Here's the deal: attractive doesn't mean HOT.
It doesn't equate to PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
Physically attractive females will attract
ATTENTION from men, but not necessarily the men
themselves ... not unless they have an attractive
personality and an outlook on life to go with
their pretty faces.
Are you with me on this one?
Most people think of 'being attractive' as
being a kind of tangible, measurable state that we
work towards.
When you're in this mindset, being attractive
becomes a GOAL: it's something that you make the
decision to BE, like deciding to be a
schoolteacher when you grow up, or deciding to go
blonde.
And more often than not, this mindset actually
trains us to focus on attractiveness as an
EXTERNAL thing.
This is actually an untrue, and deeply
unhelpful, take on what it means to be ACTUALLY
ATTRACTIVE.
Funnily enough, the people who are genuinely
attractive - meaning that they don't just turn
heads when they walk into a room, but people
consistently just WANT TO BE NEAR THEM AND GET TO
KNOW THEM - are actually attractive as a BYPRODUCT
of their lifestyle and attitude.
They're not TRYING to be attractive. They just
ARE. And it's all because of how they live their
lives, and the attention they pay to who they
really are as people.
Sound a little too spiritual and New Agey? Well
I promise, IT'S NOT. This stuff is for real, and
it has very real consequences in your life. It's
no good being the hottest woman in town if you
haven't got the kind of attractiveness that will
enable you to form lasting and loving
relationships with people.
See where I'm coming from? Yes, the 'outside'
is important to GET YOU AN 'AUDITION' with others
... but to actually BE the part, not just LOOK the
part, you've gotta have a bit more substance to
you than looks alone.
Let's delve deeper ...
Genuinely attractive people do not set out to
'be attractive'. They are just living their lives
in a certain way, because that's the way that
gives them the most fulfillment and pleasure.
Typically, they're totally engaged with their
lives, they're enthusiastic and passionate ... and,
as a result of that, other people just want to be
around them.
The pure and honest truth is that 'attractive'
is not really something you can make up your mind
to BE. You can't set out to 'be attractive' one
day, any more than you can set out to 'be young'.
It's much more important that we start to do
things AUTHENTICALLY, and as an expression of who
we really are, than base our behaviors in a desire
to manipulate the situation, other people's
feelings, or to 'get' something out of someone.
Here are a few examples of manipulative
behaviors:
- Acting caring and nice towards a man because
you want him to like you, not because you really
CARE about him or enjoy making him feel good.
- Having sex with someone because you want to
deepen your bond or get him to commit to you, not
because you genuinely want to express yourself
sexually.
- Dressing up in heels and a short skirt
because you crave validation from men, not because
that's just your own personal style.
When you're operating out of a frame of
results-based manipulation - i.e. you set out to
'be attractive' ...
... rather than thinking about how you can live
your life in a way that SUPPORTS your
attractiveness, not CAUSES it ...
... it becomes very difficult to ever become
truly happy, content, or fulfilled.
(Hot tip: you ALSO come across as very shallow
and validation-seeking! For most people, this is a
BIG turn-off.)
The reason for this is because your focus is
always drawn INWARD, in a very unhealthy way.
Instead of directing your energy and your focus
and your attention to the outside world and the
people you're interacting with, you're constantly
being drawn INWARD, into yourself, and how you
think other people are perceiving YOU.
It's like a vortex of self-obsession. And
frankly, people who think about themselves all the
time are just BORING to be around. They sap your
energy, not enhance it.
Can you say ... UNATTRACTIVE?
Focusing too much on yourself - and how others
perceive you - is going to mean that, instead of
relaxing and fully engaging in the moment, you
will always be trapped in a horrifying and
draining internal monologue, which sounds a little
something like THIS:
"Am I doing it right? How do I look now? Does
this make me attractive? Does THIS make me
attractive?" ...
... and so on.
Not only is that an incredibly tiring,
unproductive, and generally unrewarding way to go
through life, but that kind of self-consciousness
is DEEPLY boring to others ...
... and it also REEKS of neediness and
insecurity.
How attractive do you think those qualities
are?
Hmm, let's think about this for a moment ...
should you be relaxed, fulfilled, and focused on
living a life that empowers you as a woman ... and
actually enjoy the JOURNEY, not just the
DESTINATION ...
... and become naturally attractive and full of
powerful charismatic energy as a BONUS RESULT of
all that?
... or should you be uptight, inwardly-focused,
obsessed with what other people think, never quite
satisfied, lose the joy of the journey through
focusing on the DESTINATION, and as a result,
drive people away?
I'm not even going to BOTHER answering that one
for you.
By the way, you might find that some of this
stuff is a little confusing, and outside the
normal boundaries of what you would consider to be
applicable to meeting and dating men.
If that's the case, GOOD. You NEED to have
your beliefs and behaviors shaken up a little bit.
It's time to introduce some new perspectives to
the way you're operating.
Something that I highly recommend to you, that
is GUARANTEED to introduce some mind-blowing new
theories and spot-on practical tips into your
life, is this course right here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/recommends/wantmore/index.php
A few examples of what it means to NOT be
authentic:
- The new mom who goes back to work before
she's really ready to, because she feels that her
husband is putting pressure on her. MOTIVATION:
pressure and fear (as opposed to a genuine desire
for independence and freedom.)
- The woman who starts a diet because her
boyfriend asked her 'when's the baby due?'.
MOTIVATION? Insecurity (as opposed to a
spontaneous personal decision and a desire to be
fitter and happier.)
- The woman who grows out her short funky
hairstyle because she thinks that MEN prefer women
with long hair. MOTIVATION: Insecurity and
neediness (as opposed to personal style.)
Do you see what I'm getting at here?
When your motivations to live your life are
based in neediness, pressure from others, or a
mistaken belief that 'people will like you better
that way' ...
... as opposed to a strong and empowered belief
that YOU will like yourself better that way ...
... then the end result is never going to be
happiness or confidence.
Instead, you're actually eating away at your
own confidence ... and, naturally, your
irresistibility to others ... because you're
choosing to believe THEIR reasons over YOUR OWN.
And there is nothing attractive about a needy,
insecure woman!
When you're doing something simply because it
feels right for YOU, and because it's an honest
reflection of who you genuinely are in that given
moment, something very interesting will happen.
You'll discover that, when you not act upon
your personal truth, and make an effort to be true
to YOURSELF, and craft your life and your self
into the shape that YOU genuinely want them to
take ...
... not only do you enjoy your life a heck of a
lot more ...
... but you ALSO become NATURALLY and
IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's an interesting paradox, because true
attractiveness isn't something you can consciously
attain.
It's something that you JUST ARE, and it
happens as a result of how honestly and
authentically you're living your life and how
engaged and passionate you are about the choices
you're making.
People who are engaged and interested and
willing to participate and BE THEMSELVES, in a way
that makes them feel happy with who they are and
really comfortable in their own skin, are
naturally charismatic.
They're of interest to others, and they're
attractive in the TRUE sense of the word ... meaning
that other people are just drawn to them, and find
their company energizing and uplifting.
As you can imagine, this kind of
attractiveness, and the lifestyle that leads to
it, is not only of IMMENSE benefit to you as a
lifestyle, but will also have positive
repercussions in many other aspects of your life:
friendships, business relationships, family
relationships, romantic relationships ...
When you're comfortable with yourself and where
you're going, people are drawn to you. Simple as
that. And THAT is what being truly attractive is
all about.
In a nutshell, the definition of someone who is
genuinely attractive is somebody who is NOT TRYING
TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
It's somebody who is living their life a
certain way because that's what gives them the
most fulfillment and pleasure, not because other
people might find them more appealing that way.
The reason that it's so important to clarify
this is because a lot of women get really bogged
down in unhelpful conceptions of what constitutes
'attractive'.
Our society really conditions us to focus on
people's OUTSIDES, and so as a result, many of us
obsess about our appearances, and our figures, and
whether we have wrinkles or not ... etc.
This is when women start to worry about things
like ... their husband being more attracted to the
svelte 24 year old who served him in the coffee
shop this morning.
Or they worry about the size of their nose.
Or the fact that their body doesn't fit the
conventional standard of commercial beauty.
What I really want to make clear is that it's
how YOU feel about YOURSELF that has the biggest
impact on how attractive to others you are. And
it's really all about WHY you're doing things.
For example, if you're trying to look good
because you think you will be more appealing to
others that way, you'll find that you're always
feeling unsatisfied and worried about whether
you're having the right 'effect' on people.
But if you want to look good because YOU FEEL
GREAT WHEN YOU FEEL ATTRACTIVE, then THAT is the
kind of attitude that does nothing but GOOD for
the actions it generates.
(And of course, that's not to say that your
partner - or whoever you happen to be seeing at
the time - won't appreciate your efforts too ... and
more importantly, they will also appreciate the
positive change in your attitude and outlook!)
I once had a woman write in to me and say that
her boyfriend preferred women with large, firm
breasts, and (being that hers were an A-cup),
'should she go ahead and get a boob job?'
She phrased it as 'an investment in her
relationship', and that she was perfectly prepared
to make sacrifices for her boyfriend's happiness,
because when HE was happy, SHE was happy.
It's disturbing how easily the truth can be
twisted, isn't it?
Just in case you can't imagine my reply, I told
her that if she wanted to go and get a boob job,
she definitely should ... but she should be doing it
because SHE would like the way her breasts looked
like that. Definitely not not NOT because anyone
else in her life would prefer her that way!
Here's another, more personal example for you.
I used to have blonde hair, and I knew that my
partner at the time really loved it that way. He
would never say, "Gee honey, I sure hope you never
go brunette," or anything like that, but I knew
that secretly he 'preferred blondes' and was glad
that I was one.
Well, I'd always had a hankering to go
brunette. But I always felt held back from it,
because I was afraid of the impact this would have
on his attraction to me ... and also, that as a
result of living with somebody who wasn't THAT
attracted to me any more, that I myself would
start to FEEL less attractive.
(And of course there was the not-so-slight
consideration of whether I would even turn out to
look good with dark hair anyway!)
So. This was a fair amount of time ago, and I
still had many of the life lessons to learn that
would bring me to my current position of
self-contentment and empowerment.
In short, I was a lot less strong back then,
and less sure of myself as a woman.
Can you guess what I did?
I CAVED.
I stayed blonde, because I'd given in to my
fears - fears that he wouldn't be as attracted to
me, fears that I would feel less attractive, and
fears that I would compromise my standing in the
relationship.
Now, it might not sound like a big deal at
first: so I stayed blonde, when I would have
preferred to be brunette. Big deal.
But actually, this says a LOT about my
confidence at the time.
If a woman is not confident enough in herself
to even shape her APPEARANCE the way she likes it
... if she'll take somebody else's opinion over her
own on something as inconsequential as HAIR COLOR
... then that woman has some SERIOUS self-esteem
issues.
And as it turned out, one day that relationship
finally ran aground (not surprisingly, given the
fact that I'd handed over all the power to him and
kept none to myself.)
... and the VERY NEXT DAY, I dyed my hair that
dark shade of chestnut that I'd always longed for.
(Truth be told, it was as much a symbol of my new
independence as it was a fashion statement!)
I can see now, in hindsight, that I should have
just gone ahead and done it anyway. Because being
attractive isn't just about the way you LOOK. It's
also about the way you act - and whether those
actions are true to yourself.
Although I didn't know this at the time, I sure
know it now ... and I vowed that from that day, my
decisions would always be coming from a place of
AUTHENTICITY, and NEVER from fear or insecurity.
And that's what this newsletter is all about.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
P.S. By the way ... I look better with brown hair
than I EVER did as a blonde.
P.P.S. If you REALLY want to get good at
meeting and attracting men, then you should think
about investing a few minutes and scoping out what
your options are in terms of improving your game
and your attractiveness.
You should check out some of the programs and
courses we've created to help you do JUST THAT.
You'll find them all here:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/
**************************************************
About the authors:
Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the
inimitable duo of dating and relationship experts
at MeetYourSweet.com. Their fresh and engaging
approach to women's relationship advice,
particularly in empowering women to achieve
spiritual and physical transformations in their
personal lives, social lives, and all interactions
with men, has inspired and strengthened their
followers the world over.
MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to
giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
success you crave with men AND with life. No
matter who you are, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the
opposite sex. MeetYourSweet has thousands of
satisfied customers who have used their life tools
to help them kickstart their personal and social
transformation.
Your new life starts today at:
http://www.meetyoursweet.com
****************************************************
MeetYourSweet.com
Unit 6a, 3 Settlers Crescent
Ferrymead, Christchurch 8023
NEW ZEALAND
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